Thursday, April 29, 2010

Question Of The Day

Lately Seth has been saying that when he gets older, he is going to have twin boys. Although I'm not sure where this came from, I do find it quite amusing.

Today, he informed me that "his boys were going to have to eat broccoli" (although the DOESN'T).

"Oh?" I said. Then, just out of curiousity, I asked him if he was having any girls.

"Yes," he said. "I'll be having EIGHT of them," he informed me.

And before I had time to react, he asked me the million dollar question of the day:

"But how in the world am I ever gonna GET so many?!" he asked me earnestly.

NOTE: He told me later today - unprompted - what ALL of his kids' names were going to be. The boys will be Jack and Oscar, and the girls will be Julie, Mandy, Jenny, Brooke, Connie, Crystal, Donna and Liz. (Think he's just a little influenced by Odyssey?)

Of course, I had to record these in the official family chronicles so I could remind him when he has his first child, as any good mother would.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

The Boss

I had a delightful evening with my kids. We giggled, talked silly and had a grand time.

During the course of our silliness, my son told me that when he got older, he was going to have "The Boss".

"The Boss?" I asked. I had no idea what he was talking about.

"Yeah. And The Boss' name will likely be something like Auntie Laura," he answered. "'Cept maybe I'll name her Cheryl instead," he reasoned. "She'll sit beside me and make me do my school," he informed me.

I am awestruck. You see, Auntie Laura was their schoolteacher today while I was at an appointment. Auntie Laura told me after that she was "very strict with my boy, and that he listened".

My boy is obviously awestruck as well.

I think I'll have this substitute teacher - who obviously made a very big impression - a little more often.

Even if I have to go shopping, or something.....:)

Monday, April 26, 2010

Nonstop Talking

Seth talks all day. Whether anybody is listening is of little consequence, as long as he can finish his thought. I find myself tuning him out (bad mom that I am) because he just won't stop talking. When I ask him to stop, he won't until he finishes whatever thought or story he happens to be in the middle of.

He just happens to have A LOT of stories.

He also asks a kazillion questions. Every day I go to bed with a tired brain because sometimes his questions confound me. Whenever possible, like any good wife, I tell him to "go ask your dad".

Recently he has been interested in skeletons (of course because Whit found a skeleton in a hidden room in the basement at Whit's End), prompting him to ask about where all the bones are in the body. Sometimes I have to look up the answers on the internet.

Tonight while I was looking at a travel magazine, he wanted to know where Prince Edward Island was. I lazily told him it was "very far away". His translation:

"Dad, dad! Did you know that Prince Edward Island is in SOUF AMERICA!"

While doing something in his bedroom tonight, he yelled out to me,


My reassurances that they could not then prompted a further inquiry as to "why not?".

Being recently interested in the fact that both Jesus and Peter walked ON the water (causing him to try this little experiment himself while in the bathtub......and finding out that he, uh, couldn't.....) made him wonder whether or not Jesus could "walk in the sky?"

Of course, a simple "yes" wasn't sufficient. Instead, I tried to expand his mind further with my profound wisdom by telling him of the awesomeness of Jesus, that Jesus could, in fact, hold the ENTIRE UNIVERSE in His hand.

His response?

"I know, I know, mom. After all, Jesus made skeletons. AND, He even put skin on them!"

Profound wisdom from the mouth of a six-year-old.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

All Kinds Of Stuff.....

Every day is a revelation for me.

My son would never make it in the public school system.

Although I am sure there are many kids just like him in public schools, I am just as sure they cannot be properly taught TO THEIR FULL POTENTIAL or dealt with adequately. There are just too many kids.

I visualize him sitting at his desk, making faces at Suzie, sticking his tongue out Johnny. Jumping up and doing monkey dances. Cracking jokes.

The teacher would be sending me notes daily.

I really doubt that he would be reading at this point in a classroom setting. Not because I'm a great teacher, but because he has required much one-on-one diligence to keep his attention.

And they would try to put him on Ritalin. I'm positive of that.


Lately, besides playing ping pong in the hallway, my darlings have been into skating around the house. They put on the old fashioned knit slippers and use them to glide and twirl, jump and spin. They put on quite the performance.

Seth has also tried just recently to walk on water in the bathtub.

It didn't work.

His latest "new" word is obnoxious. He told me recently that Hannah was being rude to him. I asked him what he was being to Hannah. He thought about it a minute, then said, "obnoxious". Since then, everything is "rude and obnoxious". He cracks me up, because he really doesn't know what obnoxious means, but somewhere he heard "rude and obnoxious" together and just happens to use them at the right time.


Finally, I've recently been saying that Seth really should have been born into the Royal Family. If he can get anyone to "help" him or even do all of his work, he is supremely content.

Case in point. Just yesterday he told me that....

"When I get married, my wife is going to work and I'm going to stay home with the kids. Yup."

He's got it all figured out.

Monday, April 19, 2010

House Number 143

It's been a good day. At least it ended good, with a wonderful breakthrough-type service in church for which I'm extremely thankful.

However, it was quite the afternoon. We were out of town and got home at 4:00 p.m. Feeling particularly ambitious and eager to earn a little money, Hannah started a flyer route this last week, delivering Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. Along with teaching children a good work ethic, Dave and I feel this will be a good learning tool on the proper management of money, since we portray excellent money-managing skills ourselves. We want her to be better than we are (because we're still learning, unfortunately). As well, the exercise is good for my homeschooled, needing-more-physical-activity-children, and PARTICULARLY good for moi.

Anyway, because we were out of town, the office told us they would arrange for a sub to deliver our papers on Saturday. We were not impressed, therefore, to arrive home at 4:00 to find the papers undelivered.

Wanting to make it to evening service, Hannah and I finished that route in less time than you can imagine. My girl ran her legs off.

On one crescent, she did one side of the street and I did the other.

I will ever be thankful to the Lord that I came to House Number 143, and NOT my daughter. At House Number 143, the inside door was open with only the screen door shut.......and on the other side of that screen door there happened to be a HUGE BLACK DOG.


This HUGE BLACK DOG - and I am seriously NOT doing Robert Munsch exaggerations - had it's legs up on the door, and was barking and baring his BIG HUGE BLACK TEETH (okay, may his teeth weren't black....). I rushed up the steps, ever mindful of the HUGE BLACK DOG, grabbed my paper with slightly shaky hands, went to put it in the mailbox, when that HUGE BLACK DOG managed to open up the screen door.

I can honestly say that my relatives at the other side of the city likely heard my scream.

I screamed so stinkin' loud that my own eardrums popped. My heart raced (seriously). And because the Lord gave me a miracle, that HUGE BLACK DOG must have shocked himself, because he backed off when the door opened instead of lunging at me as I had anticipated.

And so I am alive to tell about it and my husband is not planning my funeral.

I finally had the presence of mind to check on my daughter across the street. She was just finishing and sauntered casually across to me, cool as a cucumber.

"That was quite some scream there, mom," the twerp said.

"Do you for some reason find it funny?" I asked, with a hint of a smile beginning to come.

"Yeah. I guess I kinda do," was her honest reply.

What can I say? I'm sure I would have laughed hysterically - after the fact - if it had happened to my husband or any one of my siblings.

But I would not have found it amusing if it had happened to one of my children.

Still, she's a little twerp.

Thursday, April 15, 2010


Out of the blue, my son said to me,

"Likewise, mom."

"Likewise?" I asked.

"Yeah. Likewise means "hi"," he answered.

"Hi?" I again asked.

"Yep. When Connie (Adventures in Odyssey) said hi to Mabel, Mabel answered 'likewise'. That's how I know what likewise means."

Well what do you know. I learn something new every day.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Missing Books

I have a dilemma. I have six {GULP....} missing library books of the kids' and I have not been able to find them for TWO months, although we have searched high and low. I can't really blame either of the kids since they have always been good at returning them to our library book corner in the past. The blame could just as well lie with me for forgetting them somewhere.

It is beyond fortunate that at the beginning of 2010, the library changed their fine schedule so that there are no fines at all on children's books. They did this so as not to discourage children from reading because of accumulated fines. They made up the difference by increasing the fines on adult material.

However, because I have not been able to find these books, I felt it was only right to go to the library today to pay for the lost books. They agreed that because the books were "lost" and not just "overdue" anymore, that they had to be paid for.

They then told me that I owed them $180.00!!!!!!!!

For SIX children's books (I'm talking about easy reading books that I can buy for $5.00 to $10.00 each easily) and they want to charge me $30.00 per book?!!! Even Hannah's hardcover Nancy Drews or Trixie Beldens are nowhere close to $30.00 brand new.

I told them that this would not be happening. I fully expected to pay minimum of $10.00 per book, but their price was highway robbery.

They were kind. They told me I could take the matter up with the specific branch I borrowed the books from - which had been different - and that in all likelihood I wouldn't have to pay the full $30.00. They also told me I could take out books for the kids on my card without penalty. Since the kids have been without library books for two months (and I don't know that it is their fault), we took out some books for the kids today.

And I became the librarian. Much to the delight of the kids, who enjoyed this game very much.

I told them that every book taken out of our library book corner had to be checked out through me - the librarian - and returned back through me before exchanging the book for another one.

Because, even though this hasn't happened in the four years we've been taking kids books out, I am not taking a chance that this is going to happen again. The search for the missing library books will definitely continue.

There are a couple of young people who go to my church whom I will not name (but who, if they read this, will know I am talking about them) that are the king and queen of sweet talking their way out of library fines. I really need to take one of them with me when I go to the other library to negotiate on a fair price. For.......I feel very confident I will come away without any fine at all if I have one of these unnamed people with me.

And that would be sweet.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

To My Son

I've been very uninspired as of late. In this dull state I'm in, I am definitely lacking my usual sense of humour about my son's antics. However, because it was my son's birthday on Thursday, I felt like it was necessary to say......something at least.

So, for anyone who feels like reading a serious post about my son, click here.

And, for anyone who wants to read a little funnier tale, click here.

And, for those who don't want to read any of these, well, he's still my same lovable, wonderful, stinkified young man who just happens to now be six.

By the way, if I were to use the same theme as I did for my daughter, who is Sunday's Child, my son is Thursday's Child, and it......well....., it worries me a bit. Because, Thursday's child has far to go......

Ahhh, but how I love him.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Miss Sneaky

My girl's latest ambition, as of today is to be a "part-time nurse, part time seamstress that supplies clothing to stores, and a part-time songwriter". Interesting combination.

However, I really think her true calling is to be a full-time spy.

She is thrilled when she is able to sneak around, as we did just before her dad's birthday. Today was no exception. We ran around town, picking up things and plotting and planning, because Seth's birthday is tomorrow.

"Mom, how are we going to sneak the stuff into the house?" she asked with concern. This was about the fifth time she brought this up. She brought up many possibilities, (including leaving them in the trunk, or just even the back seat of the car, and creeping out IN THE STILL OF THE NIGHT when Seth was in bed to bring the stuff in) and finally hit on what she thought was the best solution.

"I know mom. When we drive up to the house, I'll go in first. Then I'll grab a blanket so that we can cover all of the packages. When we get his stuff inside, I'll go and hide the stuff in my closet because Seth NEVER opens my closet door."

So, she crept into the house. As long as she can creep, she is supremely content.

Since her dad's birthday, she has been thinking hard on how we can surprise him on Father's Day. Her final solution?

"Mom, I can creep on my hands and knees on the floor to Seth's bedroom. Then, I can wake him up quietly. Together, we can come into your room, to your side of the bed to wake you up. Because, if you don't get up beforehand, then DAD CAN'T SNEAK OUT OF THE BED TO HIDE."

She's got it all figured out.

I think we'll do it her way. It could work - as long as the floors don't squeak.

And she can get some practice perfecting her sneaky skills.

Friday, April 2, 2010


My husband is.......getting old. But he is NOT get any dumber. And Today is his birthday.

Last night my daughter and I plotted and planned. We wanted to follow the true family tradition - started by my husband - and wake him up as early as possible with his gifts. So, Hannah and I made a pact: whoever awoke first was to wake the other.

True to the plan, at precisely 5:57 a.m., (!!!!) Hannah crept quietly to my bedside, shook me awake and whispered that "it was time". Stealthily, we went back to her bedroom, shut her door and turned on her light. There we wrapped all of Dave's gifts, put them in a gift bag, turned off the light, quietly opened the door and went into Seth's room. I went up to his bed, gently shook him awake and whispered that it was "daddy's birthday, and time to get up to quietly surprise him". He nodded yes and I carried him into our room.

And found the bed empty.

I stood there for a half a second, stupidly trying to process the fact that my husband was missing, wondering if I should call 9-1-1, but then started to search (my kids hanging on to me for dear life). I looked all around our room, in our bathroom, in Seth's room (thinking maybe he went in there while I was in Hannah's room), and basically in every room upstairs, turning the light on only when I reached the kitchen. He was nowhere to be found UPSTAIRS.

That old fox had to be downstairs, I thought.

However, at 6:00 a.m., in the almost-darkness, and in a slight sleep-induced stupor, I WAS NOT GOING DOWNSTAIRS. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I would drop dead of a heart attack when he jumped out to scare me. You have to understand our basement - it is hide-and-seek PARADISE. It's been in a constant state of renovations for a dozen years (and will likely stay that way.....) and there are tons of places to hide.

I crept to the last stair of the basement, turned on the one light within my reach, scanned the area, and informed my husband:

"You can come out now. I am not coming to look for you. If you want your gifts, you have to come upstairs!" and went back upstairs.

My daughter was waiting for me at the top of the stairs.

"You'll never guess where dad is," she said.

"Where?" I asked.

"Lying in bed," she answered.

He had been hiding behind the clothes in our closet and since I didn't turn on the light, I didn't see him. I honestly didn't think he would have the brain cells that early in the morning to do something like that.

The kids attacked him and he sat up like a King, a smug look on his face, much pleased with himself. I couldn't help but be thankful that I didn't look in the closet, because it would have been the day my husband became a widower and my children became motherless.

I have until Father's Day - the next time we can plan an early morning incident - to figure out how to outfox that man.

I am very open to suggestions.