You know, I love my kids. I think they are awesome. They do amazing things. Have great personalities. They are eveything a mother could ever hope for.
But if you were ever to be in a restaurant with us at the same time, you may be just be fortunate enough to witness The Hude Family Circus.
Although their fear of bugs hasn't gotten much worse, neither has it improved. And I still find myself shocked that my 11 year old girl and 9 year old boy could be reduced to toddler age over.....a fly. Yep. A little old stinkin' fly.
Today while at the IHOP for breakfast - a restaurant we don't have at home - the patrons saw an awesome spectacle. My son, with chocolate milk in hand, was the first to see the *monster fly*. The chocolate milk almost coloured the booth fabric a beautiful light brown. Rescuing the chocolate milk (and my son from a most UNcomfortable form of discipline should he have sent the milk flying), the chaos only continued. For my lovely daughter caught sight of the offensive varmint. What resulted over the next five minutes was something like this:
Hannah: Teensy scream....and a duck down in the booth.
Mom: "Hannah! Sit up now!" in a LOUD, urgent whisper.
Seth: At this point, crouching as well says a loud, "Aaahh!"
Dad: "Seth David! Get up now and calm yourself!" in a much louder whisper (he isn't quite as concerned about making a spectacle of himself as I am).
This process was repeated several times, almost verbatim, over the next five or so minutes, except that Seth actually lay down in the booth and Hannah almost slid under the table. This is not even a slight exaggeration.
I was sure the restaurant patrons were expecting to see a bird.....or something like it.....swooping down on my kids trying to make a nest in their hair, based on their behaviour. And if they didn't see the kids, or hear their minor wail, they just may have heard their parents' sharp rebuke and wanted to call Child Protective Services.
We are on vacation. Vacations are supposed to be relaxing. On vacations a family tends to eat out more than usual. I think I will fast the remainder of this trip if this is any indication of what our next time eating out will be.
Here is hoping The Hude Family Circus has packed up and left town.