Convinced

I am convinced that the first thought that goes through Seth's brain as he is waking up is "go....get....mommy". It doesn't matter if it's in the middle of the night - and it ALWAYS is - or after his afternoon nap, his eyes are hardly open when he calls for me. He comes to my bedside every single stinkin' night. He has learned that he is not coming in with us; believe it or not, we've won that battle. But he does know that I will go lay beside him. That battle I haven't won - yet.

I'm tired.

I am also convinced that it is impossible for Seth not to talk. He MUST finish his sentence. And repeat himself if he feels he wasn't quite understood. He reminds me very much of the son of some very good friends of ours (who will recognize this if they read the post). Their son absolutely has to be heard. He has to finish what he's saying and will not tolerate being cut off before he's finished. If he's allowed to finish what he's saying, then he's perfectly content. It's a lesson in patience to a parent.

And I'm weary.

Today he was at his worst. As a rule he's been better on the bus. Today all good behaviour flew out the window. He asks me constantly while I'm driving, "mom, have I been good?" in front of the other kids. I give him the thumbs up if he's been good and try to avoid the question altogether if he hasn't because he gets very upset at my answer. However, he will not tolerate my avoidance of his question. He will ask it until he gets an answer, and get louder until I do.

So, being particularly tired and not feeling well (he has strep throat for the THIRD time in two months), he was a complete pest to Hannah, to the point that I had to separate them. He also yelled at her, and then yelled at me when, upon finally answering his question that he asked for the third time (about whether he was being good or not), I told him that, no, he was not behaving particularly well. He then yelled at me again, "BUT MOM. I AM GOING TO LISTEN! IF YOU JUST ASK ME TO, I'LL LISTEN! MOM. MOM. MOOOOOOOOOM!"

This is not pleasant to handle with a bus full of kids. It is simply impossible to deal with correctly while driving a bus. I don't feel that I can pull over and have a chat (and I certainly can't spank him at that time) because it will make the other kids late getting home. However, I do have to deal with it to a certain extent because it's not fair otherwise when I've had to be very stern with some of the other kids' behaviour. It's tricky to say the least.

He spent quite a bit of time in his room today (which is punishment to him, but I also thought he might actually get some much needed rest), so much so that he reminded me of Marvie Snuffelson (from Jungle Jam, similar to Adventures in Odyssey but the characters are all animals). Marvie had to go to his room on pretty much every episode because of his smart mouth. Today Seth was getting to the point that he was going to his room on his own because he knew he hadn't been listening or was sassing me.

Because he is not feeling well and was overtired, I did have compassion. I even laughed when he persisted.....again.....with,

"MOM, I AM GOING TO LISTEN! MOM, IF YOU'LL JUST TELL ME, I'LL LISTEN! MOM!............." with tears coming down his face. Seth has yet to figure out that he needs to act on his words, not just speak them.

I was also convinced today that he really couldn't help himself. No, this isn't a cop-out, and I'm not excusing him. However, with all the circumstances working against him, I don't honestly think he could have acted much better.

Consequently, bedtime came very early tonight (so early that I'm able to post this by 8:30!). And so a very tired mama is heading to bed early tonight as well. Goodnight.