This post is entirely Dr. Laura's fault. She expressed something in her blog today that I had never heard stated in the way she stated and I believe it was profound. Here is a portion of what she said:
"Sandbagging" is a term used to describe an awful thing to do to another person where you collect years of grievances of all sizes and dump them on someone all at once. There is nothing they can do about these supposed "slings and arrows" as they are history. The context is gone, the possible provocation is ignored, the amalgam of complaints is impossible to dissect and respond to.
The point is that sandbagging never results in resolution or redress. It just results in the feeling of being disdained or betrayed.
I believe that people sandbag when 1) they simply want to hurt someone else, 2) want to get superiority over another, and/or 3) desire not to take responsibility for their contribution to the problem.
Time for total honesty here. Because of the goodness, mercy, and longsuffering of Jesus, HE brought me out of my sandbagging mentality. In fact, I believe that the direct result of sandbagging was "crashing and burning" within the last year, causing me all sorts of anxiety symptoms.
What I also know, from being a previous sandbagger, is that it is contagious. Sandbaggers always stick together. It is also VERY prevelant amongst our "apostolic ranks".
The bottom line is this: If you feel you have been wronged (real OR imagined....), but DO NOT have the courage to communicate this properly AT THE TIME OF GRIEVANCE, then just LET IT GO! Nobody can properly deal with a complaint against them when the incident happened so long ago they don't even remember it!
Bottom line #2: We ALL hurt people (only we never think what we do unto others is that bad....). And require unending mercy. The sooner we get this revelation, the sooner we can forgive others for just being human.
Bottom line #3: We apostolics tend to forget God's very important principle: We must forgive in order to be forgiven. (The result of having an unforgiving nature is sandbagging.)
I don't know about you, but I need God's mercy every day. I cannot live without it. I cannot make it to heaven without it. By God's grace, He has shown me this. I cannot afford to be unmerciful and unforgiving. I cannot afford not to let it go.
I cannot afford to be a sandbagger.
8 comments:
I would think it would be less prevalent among those who truly understand forgiveness and have been forgiven. I don't think that I agree with you. I don't feel that way and I don't see it around me. You do?
Unfortunately, Mrs. Wizzle, I do and have. Technically, it SHOULD be less prevelant among those who understand forgiveness. However, I believe it is one (of a variety) of the tools of the enemy to bog us down with this type of garbage. I could give you all kinds of "reasonable excuses" as to why I got bogged down, but I won't. I just know I did.
Bless you for never falling into this trap.
Its hard...I am trying, however it seems like whenever I am accomplished in one relationship, I miss another! Thank God for His mercy.
Thank God for honesty, Rachel.
What a simple concept! Why do we find it so difficult to follow?
What a simple yet profound post. So true. All of it. May God bless us to let it go like He lets it go.
Awesome blog. God sent!! Thank you. Read the last two on Bro. Bow's I need to apply all three of these (yours and his two) to my daily life. Thanks my dear friend!
hi just checking this out
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