Vanquished

I walked in the house after work tonight (I work a couple of short shifts two evenings a week at a doctor's office) to my son yelling at me from the bathtub.

"MOM! COME HERE! QUICK, QUICK! I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING!"

I hadn't even taken my shoes off.

I went to the door. He looked at me gravely, then told me to, "Sit down mom. I must talk to you."

Very curious by this time, I sat. He began his story.

"Mom. You'll never guess what. We watched a video tonight about someone in THE MUD! IN THE MUD, MOM! Can you believe it? Mom, it was SO gross that I had to stop watching it! I thought I might ACTUALLY THROW UP, MOM! I mean, they put their FACE in the mud, mom! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! THEIR FACE! I mean, couldn't they DIE if they ATE MUD?"

Refraining from smiling (although I was laughing inside) and rolling my eyes (using my inside-eye-rolling instead), I reassured him that no, you did not die from eating mud.

"When I'm older, mom," he continued, "I'm going to VANQUISH all mud baths, all mud bath pictures, and ALL MUD BATH VIDEOS!"

Vanquish. Yep. Eugene Meltzner the second. I went into the living room to ask his dad what they were watching, and found out they were watching volcanoes - his current passion - which turned into mud volcanoes, and then mud baths.

When I tucked him into bed, he began talking about the mud bath again, only to stop very abruptly.

"Mom. I have to stop talking about it because then I can't help thinking about it and I don't want to think about it! When I get married, I am going to be asking my wife to erase ALL mud bath pictures and videos!"

Smiling, I asked him why he couldn't erase all of them himself.

"Because mom, I am going to need help spelling ERASE MUD BATH VIDEOS AND PICTURES. That's why."

Well.....duh. Now why didn't I think of that?

I went into the kitchen and whispered this conversation to Dave. We laughed hysterically.

Some stories just have to be documented. That's all I can say.

Oh, and one last thing. I kept myself together quite well in front of my son. I think I deserve a medal.