The List

My daughter has entered a new phase. She is freaked out over all "flying" bugs. This was something she mostly conquered a couple of years ago, but for some reason, this year it has hit her worse than ever. Consequently, it makes doing our regular paper route very stressful, frustrating, tricky.......and tries my patience to the max.

However, this post is not about Hannah's bug phobia.

Today, I had to cut my Granny's grass. My mom was not home. My daughter is freaked out over bugs. Therefore, in order to actually complete my task in a timely manner, I chose to let the kids stay inside while I cut the grass. Otherwise, I would have been dealing with my daughter and not getting my work done......and it was too hot to mess around.

So, my children stayed inside with their Great Granny. (I felt the need to explain why they would be INside while I was OUTside, thus the story of her phobia.....of which my son is only slightly better....). I gave them "the rules".

1) Seth was not to be a pest to his Great Granny. At all. He likes to bug the snot out of her if he can get away with it, by touching her cheek or her hair, "stealing" her chair, and various things.

2) Hannah was to do something quiet.

3) They were both to OBEY any request of their Great Granny's.

4) I spelled out to them their consequences........Seth was to lose his lego-making privileges...(it was his current passion) INDEFINITELY. Hannah was.......well, to be honest I didn't name her consequence because I didn't think she would be the issue. But I did let her know there would be a consequence if she disobeyed her Great Granny.

I then went about my thirty minute grass cutting task.

When I came in they *conveniently* disappeared downstairs. I asked my Granny if they obeyed her. My Granny likes to stick up for her poor, little great grandbabies if she fears for their....ahem....safety, so the fact that she very willingly stated that they "didn't listen to me at all" is a very strong statement to their disobedience. Apparently they shrieked and screamed and pushed and wrestled (all things that are okay at times and in certain places if it's in fun.....but they know it's not to be done at Great Granny's house because it bothers her).....Great Granny hollered and yelled for them to quit......to which they remained intentionally oblivious to her pleas.

I FOUND them downstairs. I told Seth his legos were currently history. I told Hannah that she was not allowed to read any of her NEW library books or ANY of her own books at all until further notice.

I suspected this could be a very effective method of discipline based on the reaction I got from my daughter. I was, after all, *TAKING HER VERY LIFE AWAY!!!* sniff, sniff.

I went upstairs to visit with my Granny. A while later, Seth came up and handed me The List. From his sister. A list she made because of the dire consequence of her *inability to read*.

1) I cannot read the Bible.

2) I cannot play the piano. (Because of course that involves *reading* music).

3) I cannot type on the computer. (Because she was practicing typing using paragraphs of...BOOKS.)

4) I cannot read to my brother.

and my personal favourite.......

5) I cannot cook or bake........(Because of course she would have to read instructions of some kind.)

I laughed. They were pretty good actually. And I knew I had hit on a potentially awesome consequence.

And I assured her she could still read the Bible. And all of her future cooking instructions could come verbally, of course.

Now I expect a full gourmet meal from this.