Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Five Things I've Learned

Driving the bus has been more of a challenge since returning after the Christmas break. With all of the snow piled up on the side streets, ruts everywhere, and very slippery intersections, it's been difficult and slow going. By the sixth driving day, a total of 14 "incidences" involving buses (none serious) have been reported. Some were the driver's fault, and some were not. Fortunately up to this point, none of them have involved me, and for every day that is the case I am grateful.

There are a few things that I've learned since coming back in January:

1) My son apparently developed attention deficit hyperactive disorder over the Christmas break (maybe it was all the candy canes he ate - ??). He's had to be separated from his sister twice for poking, pinching or "konking" her over the head with a book, all while listening by earphones to his beloved Jungle Jam. Jungle Jam used to be enough to keep him occupied. Apparently it now is not.

2) There is no use seeing a chiropractor until the ruts are gone from the road. These ruts, or mini-Everests, can potentially cause whiplash. Money spent getting "adjusted" would need to be doled out on a daily basis, and thus a waste. Instead, investing in a case of ibuprofen from Costco would likely be more cost efficient.

3) It is not a good idea to ride on the bus without first making sure you have emptied your bladder entirely. Ruts on roads and full bladders DO NOT MIX. Trust me on this.

4) I may have to look for a lawyer shortly. While the bus was swaying back and forth trying to turn from one rutty road to another rutty road (going 20 kms per hour - no joke), I was informed by THE MOUTH of the schoolbus, an 11-year-old punk, that his parents would sue me if the bus ever tipped over. Yep. Sue me. I experienced that extremely pleasant warm-all-over feeling.

5) I have a budding Inventor on my hands. My daughter, recently bored with her usual reading on the bus (must be catchy from her brother), invented a way to get her book and mitts off the bus without touching them. She tied her scarf around her leg, and then tied a loop around her book and mitts and knotted it, and carefully limped off the bus with this "contraption" dangling. She successfully made it into the house without book or mitts falling and was very pleased with herself. I'll be contacting the Patent Office some time this week.

I have a break coming up on January 26. One day. A Monday. It can't come soon enough right now, although I still love driving the bus and love my kids.

MOST of them, anyway.

Cheers. :)


Rachel Peterson said...

Ah yes..the wonderful city which DOESNT SCRAPE SNOW OFF THE STREETS. I hate ruts, I hate this stupid city. I hate winter. LOL. I cant imagine driving a bus with thsoe craters all over the place my poor little car is enough!

Darla said...

Yep, Rachel. Even your talking is warbled.

Laura said...

Yes, those ruts...Jenna was driving my Rocket down our Swiss Alps street the other evening, at a rather reduced speed, I might add, when she hit the "Slalems." She forgot to attatch the skis to the van BEFORE we left home and almost sideswiped a vehicle. Just lost control...bam, like that. She wasn't even driving fast either. So much fun....NOT!

Or how about the "mountain ranges" between the lanes of traffic? That will get cleared out at the beginning of April, just before it starts melting. Yes this is a pet peeve of mine....can you tell?

What's even better, is the fact that I already heard that the city has spent their budget on either salt (or gravel or sand or whatever the stupid stuff is that ISN'T working)or street cleaning this year which means our property taxes will likely see a hike next year! One wouldn't mind as much if one actually saw the majority of the streets CLEANED!

Darla said...

Just to clarify that, Rachel, I meant that a "person's" talking is warbled while riding on the bus. I realized it sounded like I was saying that YOUR talking was warbled!

Darla said...

I laughed out loud about Jenna, Laura, I couldn't help it. Especially when she hit the "slalems" (you looked up how to spell that word, didn't you?).

I can see I've stirred up the ire of your household, unintentionally of course.

Thanks for giving me my morning laugh.