Sunday, November 9, 2008

Hannah's Thing-osis

I've been involved in a lot of debates the last few days about socialism, abortion, the election (there, I snuck that word in again, hah, hah!). I'm all issued out and will leave those posts to others (for a while anyway - at least until my juices start flowing again) and just write about my kids - my most favoritist (a Darlaism) subject of all.

Yesterday Hannah took it upon herself to clean out her top desk drawer. I had seen how much junk was crammed in there the day before and commented that "it looked like I would have to get in there and clean it out". This is a serious threat to her, so she took it to heart and decided to do the job herself.

I don't understand why God can't give our children the best parts of both of us. Really. I mean, would it really hurt for a least two children to be perfect in this world? It would free up some of God's time while he was perfecting other people's kids, as well.

Instead, she inherited all of my neur-osis and all of her dad's thing-osis. Thing-osis translated means: Unable to throw things away. Packrat. Considered a much worse condition than neur-osis.

If you have ever been around my house for very long, you would understand why thing-osis is really a much more severe condition than neur-osis. Four washing machines and three dryers, three fridges and stoves (although he recently did get rid of one washer/dryer set - bless his heart!), a basement crammed that one can just barely sneak into the laundry room, a garage full of things, a dining room full of tools (still from our renovations), the sewing machine set up so that my dear husband can sew all of his socks (because he can't throw the blasted THINGS out!)......these are just a few examples. Seriously.

And my dear Hannah has been blessed with this genetic condition.

Now, as she was cleaning out her drawer, she somberly informed me that she would "throw some things out". I told her that was very good (knowing how very difficult this was for her). I told her to put all the stuff for the garbage in a separate pile, and she agreed. After about fifteen minutes of working, she called me into her room and said,

"Mom, I'm pretty sure that if I'm careful, I can fit all of this stuff back into my drawer. It just has to be arranged differently to fit."

And so the separation anxiety begins.

"Hannah, have you even started any piles that you are going to throw out?" I asked her.

"Yes," she replies.

"Where?" I ask.

"Behind the door," she answers.

I look behind the door and see a tiny little pile and, quite frankly, find it very difficult not to burst out laughing. She was having trouble throwing THAT out?

I look at her seriously and say, "Hannah, I'm quite sure that you are going to find it much easier to throw out your LITTLE pile than to have ME go through your stuff and throw out a much BIGGER pile!"

Heartless mom that I am, I close the door just as she bursts into tears.

Her daddy (who is at that very moment on the sewing machine sewing up his STINKIN' HOLEY SOCKS), in a rare move of compassion, informs me that "he'll handle it".

He spends about fifteen minutes in her room. He comes out and I ask what is going on. He tells me not to worry about it. She will be getting rid of THAT pile. He then get's sarcastic.

"How would you like it if I got rid of your cards?" he asks.

The ONLY thing I save is birthday cards and such and letters from friends. THAT'S IT. I have one box full of stuff I've saved compared to a house, garage, basement full of STUFF from him, and he's complaining about my stuff?

"You're comparing my cards with pieces of paper with little squiggly lines on them?" I ask, because that comprised most of what was in the junk pile.

To make a long story short, she did manage to get rid of a little bit of her stuff. And became comrades with her dad for the afternoon while I was the big, bad, booger.

But I'm okay with that. As long as progress has been made. And it has.


Laura said...

Be thankful you don't live on an acerage or you might find yourself building a "new" garage to put the "vehicles" in but it ends up being used for ....yup, more STUFF! Like someone else I know. That is too funny! Jenna is the same way, she has a roomful of "stuff" that she cannot throw out. One day she is going to come home from school and poof! It's gone.

In the Light Photography said...

I have a thing-osis too Im afraid. I have a large box filled with school notes from grade nine, a filing cabinet filled with grade eight curriculum, and who knows what else, every single note I ever recieved in high school. Every letter, everything from cadets, lesson plans, colouring pages. I kept textbooks from my short stint in SBC "just in case" (one of my more practical things) I have shopping bags I have collected from places such as Old Navy, I have shoeboxes just in case I might need them to hold stuff. I kept the box my rollerblades were in, just in case...two bags of marshamallows for when I feel the need to start WW3. The list goes on. I happen to hide it quite well. Although, every five years or so I clear out most of the can definately relate.

Darla said...

And your mom thinks Jenna is bad?

Mrs. Wizzle said...

Yikes! Are you sure it doesn't run in the Stewart's! It sounds like it! Maybe you should check Laura's fabric stash or her scrapbook stash! ha ha ha ha ha And don't fret! The disease is rampant in Calgary as well!

Darla said...

Mrs. Wizzle - I almost fell off my chair, it's been so long!

The disease runs in MOST of the Stewarts, but thankfully cannot lay claim to me. I WILL boast of that! I am so sick of junk, in fact, that as I'm setting things up again after renovation I am getting rid of a bunch of stuff (not even really old, but I just have no room for it) and my mom is almost in cardiac arrest. That's where my dear sister and her girls got it from. My mom's house will soon be overcrowded because she's taking most of it!

Laura said...

Mrs. Wizzle: I seem to recall cleaning out my fabric stash and giving it to a "certain quilter". Now, in all fairness, the only thing I have personally is fabric (and not much anymore) and scrapbooking supplies. I must remind everyone that we have one garage, two sheds, and a large storage room downstairs, most of which holds another member of our housholds items. What's funny is this topic is battlefield material when "junk" and "cleaning out" storage space is mentioned. "Thing-osis" occurs. Ha, at least Mrs. Wizzle, we use our garage for it's intended purpose...a vehicle! lol. And as far as Rach goes, I wasn't aware she had the "osis" so bad. She does keep it hidden very well.

One more confession: I do collect old things, especially if they have family memories attached to them.

Now Dr. Laura says: "Go take on the day."

Darla said...

Already then......stay tuned for round two.....

I really do not know what it's like to use a garage for a car, I must confess. It's not something I'm hoping for in this lifetime.

Jenna said...

Heyheyhey! So, just because Rachel has the BIGGEST room in the house, and manages to HIDE all of her stuff, doesnt mean I have the same. I have the SMALLEST room in the house, and sorry if my bed is a captains bed and I cannot stuff everything in the planet underneith (bad spelling) it. Okay? haha
No, I assure the world that Rachel is much worse then I am.

Darla said...

Alrighty then.....stay tuned for round three....

Anonymous said...

Oh, can I join this??? I collect things, too... First it was cross stitch stuff; now it's quilling stuff.... Can't complain, at least it's small stuff, but, as you well know, little things become bigger. And, I dare not get rid of any cross stitch stuff- I may pick up and finish that picture I started 30 years ago!!!! I keep telling myself "when the kids are in school, I will have time to myself". (Don't pop my bubble, girls; let me dream!!!!)

...I was thinking of collecting miniature chairs- Jolene no-longer-Dehod has/had a really neat collection.... I was inspired!!! ;)


Laura said...

Ha! You better be may get bit by the same bug that bit your aunt Lee. I think it may have started with tins, then old cups, books, doilies, and now she has a garage sale a couple times a year. Ha! Ha! Ha!

Good luck Rachel. :-)

Darla said...

The funny thing is, Rachel, that I might well have had "Thing-osis" if I hadn't have married WHO I MARRIED. Because of this, I think I am completely cured of this "osis".

If I could, I would call 1-800-GOT-JUNK in a heartbeat, believe me.

I'm kinda hoping to stay married for a few more years yet.

Anonymous said...

Darla- My husband keeps threatening to call that number... Funny thing is, he's worse than I am about keeping junk!!!

Laura- We had a garage sale this spring, and made just over $500. I was kinda disappointed, though, 'cause we had so much stuff, and had to cart it a lot of it back in the house!! I'm still not totally convinced that the money was worth the effort......

Hhmmm... My marriage is important, so I'll hold off on calling the 800 number!!

Laura said...

Rachel: Now I know why your aunt has a special connection with you...two peas in a pod!!!