Life's Lessons

Perhaps it's because our life is very hectic right now; perhaps it's because we (the kids and I) are staying three nights/days a week with my Granny; perhaps it's because we have been in a Laura Ingalls Wilder phase; OR perhaps it's all of the combined reasons......but once again I have come full circle to realize that I have let too many things slip....AGAIN....as a parent.

So why would this have anything to do with the above? Let me explain.

A few weeks ago, my Granny had an incident that has made us concerned about leaving her alone. As a result, my sisters and I have been taking turns staying overnight during the week, as well as having someone with Granny at least most of the time during the day. We have no idea how long this will be for. Truthfully, we are considering it to be indefinite, since Granny's deepest desire is NOT to be placed in a nursing home. We are trying our very best to grant her her wish.

Because of this, we are sleeping four nights a week at home. The days at home are packed with getting stuff done around the house, doing our paper route, and such things. It will only get busier once we begin school again.

On top of this, my dad has just recently been diagnosed with multiple myeloma, which is cancer of his bone marrow. Fortunately, it's in the early stages and he should respond quite well to chemotherapy. I have been running with my dad to appointments, and between my sisters and I we will be taking him to his weekly, 3-4 hours at-one-time, appointments.

That is why my life is hectic.

I am finding myself *tuning out* my kids' behaviour too much. And, when they are in a different house almost half of their week, and when their behaviour affects my Granny, then I begin to realize how much I must *buckle up* and improve.

I could make excuses for them. They sleep on a blow up mattress on the floor and don't sleep well. They don't have any "down" time in their own room. I don't have any "down" time and am more impatient than ever. I don't have the freedom to take them as much to the park as I used to.....only when Granny is feeling well enough. When I am home it's not much fun because I'm busy catching up.

However, as tired as I am.....I know this is really no excuse. It shows a lack of training on my part more than anything. And, in the long run, I am very GLAD that their lives are so different right now. I want them to understand that life is not all about them. I want them to understand the importance of family, and teach them to serve. I.....as in ME...... just needs to improve.

As I mentioned above, we have been on a Laura Ingalls Wilder kick. I have never before listened (or read) intently to the entire stories. However, during The Long Winter, my interested piqued and I have been reading the rest of the stories since.

I realize that during the time they lived in, generally kids were more obedient and parents were more consistent disciplinarians. However, Charles and Caroline Ingalls were, from all accounts, VERY even-tempered, NEVER raised their voice, RARELY spanked their children.....and yet their children were very well behaved and obedient. They had a heart to please their parents.

One particular incident in the book really *yanked* my chain. Laura, 14 at the time, was picked on wrongfully by her teacher. The teacher really took a dislike to Laura and Carrie and let it show. One time Laura was sent home from school because she stood up to how the teacher treated her little sister. Charles and Caroline NEVER once sided with Laura......they told Laura that she must ALWAYS respect the teacher. Another time, Charles and two other school board members walked into the school for an inspection (after hearing that the teacher had no control over the class), and the teacher accused Laura of being the main problem in her class. Charles took it in stride, would not let Laura defend herself, and informed the teacher that the school board supported her and admonished the children to obey their teacher. Afterward at home, Charles let Laura know that he knew she didn't intend to cause trouble but there must have been something she had said at some time to let the teacher behave as she did toward her. They discovered what it was....a statement blown entirely out of context......and used it to teach her a lesson to keep her mouth shut.

How many parents these days would react this way? Would I? Yet I believe with all of my heart their parenting was 100 percent correct.

Bro. Steve Pixler preached at camp meeting this year, and his last message in particular was a revelation. I don't ever want to forget it. He said that the true suffering of the cross was not bearing our own scars from past failures and mistakes. It was suffering WRONGFULLY. And IN SILENCE. Until we could do that, we really could not be like Jesus. We could not be resurrected into a NEW MAN. He even told a story very similar to the one of Laura, where his daughter was wrongfully accused by someone, but he kept his mouth shut, had his daughter apologize to this person......all so he could teach his daughter a valuable lesson.

My point is this: Although the times I live in is different, I KNOW I want to be that kind of parent. Staying at home with them AND even homeschooling them....simply is not enough. I must be engaged. I don't believe my convictions are wrong of what their behaviour should be like (and trust me, I question myself all the time), but what is wrong is my REACTION. Or lack thereof.

So, all of this is weighing on my mind. Life is bringing out inadequacies. And that's okay. That's as it should be. I really do just want to improve.

The Gift

I've been handed a gift.

My dear, adorable 90-year-old Granny has recently had some health issues. As a result, she was put on an antibiotic that we were warned had a slight chance of affecting her blood sugar, causing it to plunge. In a diabetic, this is not good news.

Yesterday morning I was at an appointment. My kids were with my mom, who *just happened* to NOT be volunteering like she usually is. When I got out of my appointment, I saw that I had a text message from my youngest sister to CALL HER. She was at my moms.

I knew it must be serious. She had been at work the last I knew. I called her. She told me that my Granny very suddenly deteriorated to the point where she had to lay down, wouldn't eat, was feverish, and barely coherent. Mom, not able to reach me or my older sister, called my youngest sister, who dropped everything and ran over. She told me she was very close to calling an ambulance - that's how unresponsive my Granny was.

I told her I would be home in a few minutes. I knew I had to check her blood sugar. My youngest sister had never done it, and neither had my mom. My Granny, my older sister and I were the only ones who did. Obviously, that will change.

I ran in the door, and immediately understood the concern. My Granny looked very frail lying on the couch. She was so "out of it" that when I poked her finger she didn't even know or care. I was surprised then to discover that her blood sugar was a little high.

I then found out (although I had been told this already but didn't retain it) that my mom very wisely was able to get my Granny to drink some Pepsi just before she *crashed*. And I honestly believe this drink of Pepsi is what saved my Granny's life.

It took about an hour after drinking the Pepsi, (about ten minutes after I got there) but my Granny came to and, after initially being very weak, was able to get up and walk about with the assistance of Lana and I. We took her immediately to the doctor, where my suspicions were confirmed. Her blood sugar dropped dangerously low. She was taken off the antibiotic that interfered with her blood sugar and switched to a different one that didn't. (Likely should've been what was done from the beginning......but then hindsight is always perfect.....).

The implications of what could have been are very difficult to think about. *If* my mom wasn't home......*if* my mom didn't give her a quick sugar fix.....*if* my mom couldn't have reached my sister......

We quickly made arrangements to have someone monitoring my Granny at all times while being treated for this illness. That meant staying through the night and during the day when my mom was not home (plus giving my mom some peace and reassurance, which she very much needed AND deserved). As a result, my kids and I had a sleepover at Granny's last night.

I made a pledge to my Granny a little while ago that I would do my best to serve her to the best of my capacity. Even though there have been times it has made my life very hectic, I honestly feel like I've been given a privilege. I wonder if I would have felt that way 20....or even 10 years ago?

Last night I helped my Granny. I became her servant. When she was finally ready for bed, I told her I was going to tuck her in. She smiled and said, "okay". She sat on the edge of her bed, not moving. I repeated my request. She smiled at me, realizing she really would have to indulge me. Then she laid down. I tucked her in nice and cozy.

Then I knelt beside her bed.

And I prayed. I thanked God for this wonderful woman. I asked Him to wrap Himself around her that night. I asked Him if He would touch her and heal her. I told Him I had the best Granny.

And I heard my precious Granny saying, "Jesus. Jesus."

I then leaned over and kissed her cheek. And said, "Night, night."

And I left her room knowing I had received a precious gift. Life had come full circle and the Granny that blessed me and at times tucked me in bed when I was little.....well, I was able to return the blessing.

As much as we enjoy reaping what we sow....assuming we have sown for the *good*, I realized how precious it was to be the instrument of blessing to my Granny.

And I will preserve this precious memory. For all time.

The List

My daughter has entered a new phase. She is freaked out over all "flying" bugs. This was something she mostly conquered a couple of years ago, but for some reason, this year it has hit her worse than ever. Consequently, it makes doing our regular paper route very stressful, frustrating, tricky.......and tries my patience to the max.

However, this post is not about Hannah's bug phobia.

Today, I had to cut my Granny's grass. My mom was not home. My daughter is freaked out over bugs. Therefore, in order to actually complete my task in a timely manner, I chose to let the kids stay inside while I cut the grass. Otherwise, I would have been dealing with my daughter and not getting my work done......and it was too hot to mess around.

So, my children stayed inside with their Great Granny. (I felt the need to explain why they would be INside while I was OUTside, thus the story of her phobia.....of which my son is only slightly better....). I gave them "the rules".

1) Seth was not to be a pest to his Great Granny. At all. He likes to bug the snot out of her if he can get away with it, by touching her cheek or her hair, "stealing" her chair, and various things.

2) Hannah was to do something quiet.

3) They were both to OBEY any request of their Great Granny's.

4) I spelled out to them their consequences........Seth was to lose his lego-making privileges...(it was his current passion) INDEFINITELY. Hannah was.......well, to be honest I didn't name her consequence because I didn't think she would be the issue. But I did let her know there would be a consequence if she disobeyed her Great Granny.

I then went about my thirty minute grass cutting task.

When I came in they *conveniently* disappeared downstairs. I asked my Granny if they obeyed her. My Granny likes to stick up for her poor, little great grandbabies if she fears for their....ahem....safety, so the fact that she very willingly stated that they "didn't listen to me at all" is a very strong statement to their disobedience. Apparently they shrieked and screamed and pushed and wrestled (all things that are okay at times and in certain places if it's in fun.....but they know it's not to be done at Great Granny's house because it bothers her).....Great Granny hollered and yelled for them to quit......to which they remained intentionally oblivious to her pleas.

I FOUND them downstairs. I told Seth his legos were currently history. I told Hannah that she was not allowed to read any of her NEW library books or ANY of her own books at all until further notice.

I suspected this could be a very effective method of discipline based on the reaction I got from my daughter. I was, after all, *TAKING HER VERY LIFE AWAY!!!* sniff, sniff.

I went upstairs to visit with my Granny. A while later, Seth came up and handed me The List. From his sister. A list she made because of the dire consequence of her *inability to read*.

1) I cannot read the Bible.

2) I cannot play the piano. (Because of course that involves *reading* music).

3) I cannot type on the computer. (Because she was practicing typing using paragraphs of...BOOKS.)

4) I cannot read to my brother.

and my personal favourite.......

5) I cannot cook or bake........(Because of course she would have to read instructions of some kind.)

I laughed. They were pretty good actually. And I knew I had hit on a potentially awesome consequence.

And I assured her she could still read the Bible. And all of her future cooking instructions could come verbally, of course.

Now I expect a full gourmet meal from this.

Vanquished

I walked in the house after work tonight (I work a couple of short shifts two evenings a week at a doctor's office) to my son yelling at me from the bathtub.

"MOM! COME HERE! QUICK, QUICK! I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING!"

I hadn't even taken my shoes off.

I went to the door. He looked at me gravely, then told me to, "Sit down mom. I must talk to you."

Very curious by this time, I sat. He began his story.

"Mom. You'll never guess what. We watched a video tonight about someone in THE MUD! IN THE MUD, MOM! Can you believe it? Mom, it was SO gross that I had to stop watching it! I thought I might ACTUALLY THROW UP, MOM! I mean, they put their FACE in the mud, mom! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! THEIR FACE! I mean, couldn't they DIE if they ATE MUD?"

Refraining from smiling (although I was laughing inside) and rolling my eyes (using my inside-eye-rolling instead), I reassured him that no, you did not die from eating mud.

"When I'm older, mom," he continued, "I'm going to VANQUISH all mud baths, all mud bath pictures, and ALL MUD BATH VIDEOS!"

Vanquish. Yep. Eugene Meltzner the second. I went into the living room to ask his dad what they were watching, and found out they were watching volcanoes - his current passion - which turned into mud volcanoes, and then mud baths.

When I tucked him into bed, he began talking about the mud bath again, only to stop very abruptly.

"Mom. I have to stop talking about it because then I can't help thinking about it and I don't want to think about it! When I get married, I am going to be asking my wife to erase ALL mud bath pictures and videos!"

Smiling, I asked him why he couldn't erase all of them himself.

"Because mom, I am going to need help spelling ERASE MUD BATH VIDEOS AND PICTURES. That's why."

Well.....duh. Now why didn't I think of that?

I went into the kitchen and whispered this conversation to Dave. We laughed hysterically.

Some stories just have to be documented. That's all I can say.

Oh, and one last thing. I kept myself together quite well in front of my son. I think I deserve a medal.

Rant......

Just when I think I have seen everything.

Today, in Sydney, Australia, there is a "Slut Walk". Apparently to protest against men......that the *lack* of clothing on women should NOT cause men to think they get to have more *liberties* with women.

So, let me get this straight. Feminist women are ticked that some men don't exercise self-discipline - when half their cleavage is sticking out - but think that they have all the right to NOT discipline themselves in the way they dress.....

This world is getting more wacky every day. I just came across an ad (on my online newspaper no less) for a prime time TV series about professional, beautiful, successful LESBIANS, living a filthy, vile, lifestyle. Each episode (because I read about it) contains graphic lesbian sex scenes. This is on PRIME TIME TV.

As a non-feminist WOMAN, I am offended.

I have grown to despise what Lady Gaga stands for. She is the epitome of evil; a woman who has sold her soul for fame.

And, as humanitarian as Ellen Degeneres is, I truly believe she is one of the main reasons lesbianism AND female sexuality is so out of whack. BECAUSE, she is one of the nicest, most seemingly normal women. Therefore, her sexuality must be okay.

Women have sunk to new lows. And they lay too much blame on men.

And, one more thing while I am ranting......I am sick and tired of seeing pictures of so many perverted stars or singers WEARING CROSSES AROUND THEIR NECK.

I'm done.......for now.

Done With School

I am tired of school. Taking four weeks off (for our vacation and ensuing sicknesses), I am trying very hard to get finished so we can take a much needed summer break.

I have tried to change my methods of teaching and base it on my children's personalities and strengths, but I must confess to struggling with this. When one child thrives on movement, noise and music and it distracts the other, and the other doesn't want to be alone in their bedroom (and peace and quiet) to do their work because they're "lonely", then I find myself at a loss. A genius I am not. More than that, patient I AM NOT.

Today my son surprised me by getting up, getting dressed and doing his chores without any prompting from me. Thinking this was the start of a very good day, I soon found out I was mistaken. Previously walking normally, he went into the bathroom and from there started complaining that his leg hurt. And needed my help. And whined. And whined. And whined.

I understand that I have not been effective in getting this blasted habit out of him controlling his tendency to whine. I am trying very hard to change that. I have obviously mollycoddled him far too long. So, I informed him that he could camp in the bathroom if he wanted. I was not coming in. His leg was fine prior to this. And I got up (he was in our ensuite with the door shut), shut my bedroom door and went into the living room, where my daughter was practicing the piano - thus effectively drowning out the noise.

It worked. He quit crying and *miraculously* walked out of the bathroom.

Now on to school. With my son, a ten minute assignment takes at least an hour. And then he has the nerve to whine that "he doesn't want to do school anymore". Today I had enough. He went to bed every time he whined. Consequently, he was in bed......a lot. School dragged on. He got up, did a bit, and ended up back in bed because he "forgot" and whined.

Eventually he got the picture, I guess because I held out long enough (which is my biggest problem.....obviously). He finally came out, sat down, did his school diligently. I told him I did not want to hear about his leg at all. I told him that because he is a master exaggerator and whiner, I tended to not believe him when he whined about some pain here or there, and that one time he really was going to have a true problem and I wouldn't believe him if he kept on whining so much.

This is what came out of his mouth instead:

"Ouch.......(then catching himself..)...um...oops."

"My leg is trying really hard to make me cry, mom," he informed me with a ((smile)).

He then began to LAUGH at the pain in his leg. Yup. Laugh. Cuz if whining doesn't get you attention then surely LAUGHING will. I had to STOP his laughing.

And I really don't want there to be NO LAUGHING in this house.

To all my dear friends who so kindly read this blog, will you please pray for me? I do write this while laughing, but truly, I do need God's inspiration. I need to effectively handle my son without.....SNAPPING.

And I truly need summer vacation. God bless.

The Lame Man

It begins like this.

Because the kids have been sick for three full days with fevers; because they have been house bound for those three days; because I did their papers on Wednesday (while grandma babysat) because they were sick; AND because they are on the mend today with their fevers gone; THAT.........

Dad very wisely suggested that they needed to get outside today to do the papers. It didn't need to be rushed. It could take however long it needed to take, but the fresh air would do them good. I wholeheartedly agreed.

Immediately following this announcement, our poor, young son discovered that he was lame....{{sniff, sniff}}.

BOTH of his legs, directly below his knee caps but above his calves, were "hurting really, really bad".

"You have NO IDEA how bad my legs are hurting, mom!" he wailed.

He got out of bed to go to the bathroom and COULD NOT HOLD HIMSELF UP! Imagine! He landed on his bum with a wail, proclaiming his inability to stand. I heartlessly told him to crawl to the bathroom then. He continued to wail. Dad came into the bedroom to talk to me. We completely ignored the invalid. We talked ABOVE the wails for at least five minutes. The wails grew louder. I stepped over him to go to the kitchen. The crippled boy got on his belly and pulled/pushed himself on the floor to the kitchen, proclaiming that his "belly hurt in that position!" I.......very kindly.......turned on the bathroom light for this poor child (because there were monsters there in the dark you understand) and told him however he had to bring himself to do it, to get to the bathroom. I was NOT lifting him up. He managed to pull himself into the bathroom and shut the door. And continue to wail for another five minutes.

If Hannah is the drama queen of the house, Seth is MOST definitely the drama KING. In fact, he wins the overall prize for drama in our house.

Dad finally opened the bathroom door (after we stood in our bedroom laughing for a while......these things require a sense of humour to keep your sanity) and convinced him of the need to go to the bathroom. Truthfully, I honestly didn't care whether he wet himself. I wasn't helping him. I have been stuck in the house myself with sick kids and my patience was EVEN LESS than normal. What were wet pajamas and a wet floor? I would just get Junior to clean up the mess anyway. That was my attitude.

After he managed this miraculous feat, he came wailing out of the bathroom, still proclaiming his inability to walk. So, dad offered to *massage* his legs. Lest anyone thinks this was harsh, I was witness to it. It wasn't too hard at all, but it was such that Seth did not like it. Dad continued to *massage* his legs until Seth agreed to walk his pain away.

Back and forth down the hallway, our poor, weak child shuffled. Back and forth. Back and forth. Wailing the whole time. We told him he could quit walking when his *pain* was gone. So, of course the pain didn't leave immediately. It took about 15 minutes of walking AND WAILING for there to be a noticeable improvement.

When I finally had enough, I told him that his legs would definitely get more strength if he STOOD IN THE CORNER until the whining ceased.

He stopped. (Maybe we should've thought of that first, I don't know. Sometimes you just have to try things out though....).

While our miraculously-healed-lame-boy was eating his breakfast, eyes swollen, he was surprised to find HIS MOTHER - on her hands and knees - crawling, and whining, and moaning, and wailing down the hallway........

"MY LEGS ARE SO SORE!!! I CAN'T WALK!!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!! I NEED HELP!!!"

Needless to say, the morning ended up.....funny after all. My son even wanted me to repeat the scene. Both of my children were totally surprised that I could/would crawl ALL THAT WAY on my hands and knees down that *mile* long hallway, and laughed hysterically.

(How insulting is that! Maybe they should BOTH go in the corner!!)