Happy Birthday To Me

Today is my birthday. I am becoming rather.....*age-ed*.......:-)

There are some things I know for sure when my birthday comes around.  I know without a doubt that I will be woken up at some UNearthly hour. This is carved in stone....a tradition started by my husband from the beginning of time. I was thankful, then, to have the stuffing scared out of me only 15 minutes earlier than the usual time I arise this morning. The kids and Dave came - bearing gifts - to my bedside and yelled, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!".  Dave knows my mornings have not been coming easy lately. Thanks, Dave...(I think....).

I also know for sure that my kids will be plotting something in secret, although this year I actually wondered if they remembered my birthday. Only because Seth usually can't keep his mouth shut and this year nary a word was said. Maybe he's growing up???????

I also know it's a sure thing that we will go out to some restaurant as a treat.

But first let me tell about my morning.

After being startled awake.....and trying to open my eyeballs, my son....jumping up and down with boundless energy (where does he get it at this hour, I think??) hands me a gift bag. In the bag are three cards. I should mention that this is another "sure thing"....three cards, one from each. Of course I had to open up my son's first. I was very pleasantly surprised to find a SERIOUS card. Seth never picks serious cards. Cards to him are an extention of his comedy.....the funnier the card, the happier he is. For Father's Day he got his dad a card that had words that boys (and dads) love.......words that rhyme with cart, and dart and mart. You get the picture. So for me to get a gushy, mushy card from my son - that he picked out himself - about how absolutely awesome I am, well, it doesn't get much better than that. He did complete some lovely art work on one side where he was able to release his funny bone......but that only made it much more "Seth". I loved it. He also got me a gift certificate to the Bible book store. How nice!

Then my daughter.....who usually picks the mushy, gushy cards.....chose a simple card that stated her love for me, but then wrote the nicest words herself underneath. My heart turned to mush. Her gift was just as heartfelt.....she has been secretly knitting a scarf for quite a while.......and finished it yesterday! Yes, it's July and hot, but I promise you that come winter I will wear it with PRIDE! She totally flabbergasted me with it because I had no idea and because it's the best knitting she has done to date.

Then Dave got me a nice card.....he is the CARD master.......said some nice words and gave me a gift card to my favourite place. Which is the perfect gift for me. I was supremely happy.

We get to church this morning and before I even get in the door, my son, who ran ahead, goes in and tells everyone he sees that it's his mommy's birthday! I come in to church to a whole bunch of "Happy Birthday's". It was a nice very morning.

The topper......and really the most fun......came at lunch.  While waiting for our food we started games of hangman and tic tac toe. Seth's first phrase (playing with his dad) was "I LOVE MOMY!" Yup. Momy. Gotta love that homeschooled boy......  Eventually Hannah and I started writing cinquain's. If you don't know what a cinquain is, google it, but it's a simple five line poem.  Her first poem:

Seth

Running, jumping

Playing, bugging, teasing

He deserves a spanking

Brother

We laughed and laughed at that one.  Then I jotted down two quickies about my kids:

Rosie

Smart, sassy

Bright, inquisitive, Curious

Very beautiful young lady

Hannah

AND......................

Seth

Funny, impish

Handsome, loving, kind

Always getting into trouble

Beanie

We left the restaurant feeling quite content with ourselves. And I sit here now, pondering my day so far. It's only 3:00 and I'm already content. So content that it inspires one more cinquain:

Family

Thoughtful, loyal

Kind, sweet gestures

Always pulling off surprises

Grateful

Crocodile On The Nile

It's Mother's Day. And Mother's Day will always be one of the most important "special" days to me.  I spend the day looking at my children and shaking my head that I have been so blessed.

However, the day did end with my son going to bed.  EARLY.

It happened at church tonight.  He had already not heard several times prior, and I was tired of repeating my requests.  For instance, during prayer I noticed him standing, looking behind him, making strange movements and faces, so I told him to sit down.  He is old enough now to sit, and I am conscientous of him not being a distraction to the people sitting behind me.  He had a valid reason for his antics, so I discovered.

"Mom, I was making shadows on the wall.  And this time I was a crocodile on the Nile."

And I thought, "Okay.  This is Mother's Day. Maybe I will appreciate this wonderfully funny, bright boy of mine." And I laughed quietly to myself.  Because he does make me smile a hundred times a day.

But that isn't why he was sent to bed.  I came off the platform after song service, walked to my pew, and discovered him playing Mr. Spy, or some other highly suspenseful espionage game.....slinking down hiding, trying to be sneaky.  I told him to stand up.  He didn't.  I bent down and firmly repeated my request.  He sat down with his BACK ARCHED. I felt my claws come out.

I took him downstairs for a.....chat.  (Really, truly.  I did.....chat).  On the way downstairs he carefully repeated that he "wanted his daddy".  I really have no idea why.

And so, after carrying on unnecessarily downstairs, I told him he was going to bed early.

And that is the story.

On this Mother's Day, I feel blessed. I wouldn't trade my daughter or son for anything. Both unique. Both wonderful.  Both stinkers sometimes....(my daughter leaned over to me during the preaching, while Pastor Dehod was talking about his own mother's organized, clean house and said, "wouldn't that be nice, mom!"......).

But God is good. Chaos and all.....:-).  Happy Mother's Day to all of my wonderful friends and family!

The Jackpot

Today was a challenge.

We found out from my mom that while watching my kids on Friday, Seth thought it would be a funny joke to try to lock Grandma out of the house. He only did this for a short time....just long enough for his joke to be *truly appreciated*, or so he thought.

Dave and I took some time to discuss how to best deal with this. Since we were running crazy all weekend, I didn't deal with it until today. When your son is almost 8, waiting a few days won't make much of a difference. He's a smart boy with a loooonnnnng memory, and besides, sometimes the anticipation helps.

I told him this morning he wasn't to play with any of his toys, touch the computer, or play with Hannah until he "wrote lines". This was an idea given to my sister when her kids were small by the wonderful, awesome, Sherri Long. So I decided to try it.

I asked him to write, "It is not funny to lock Grandma out of the house". I wanted to stress the fact that it was NOT funny because most things Seth does is because he wants to make people laugh. I only made him write 14 lines, two sides of a paper. But to him this was the end of the world.

He threw fits I haven't yet seen from him. So, I added a different line to his assignment: "I will not scream, kick, whine, or throw a fit". 14 lines of each. A total of 28 lines.

I told him he had two choices: To write lines or lay on his bed. I told him he would be at it all day if necessary, and that he wasn't doing anything else until this was completed. I also required it to be his neatest printing and told him if it wasn't he would do more lines.

Those who read my blog know I am very frank about my flaws. I have stated them often enough. Since I am honest about them, then I will state here and now that on this day, on this occasion, I WAS AWESOME. Never once did I raise my voice. Never once did I lose my patience. I calmly stated the rules and I calmly executed exactly what I said. At the height of his tantrum.....screaming his head off in the bedroom......my every instinct wanted to wallop him on the area that God intended to be walloped, but I didn't. I knew I had to try something different, and I knew I had to stay calm. I left him alone until he was done his tantrum. And then I calmly told him he could lie there all day, or finish his lines.

It took him TWO HOURS to finish the first 14 lines. We had to leave to do errands after this and were gone for several hours, but I carefully explained to him that this was TO BE CONTINUED.

I guess he thought I didn't mean it because when we got home he rushed into Hannah's room, expecting to watch her solve a Nancy Drew Mystery. I reminded him that he had his new line to complete. Thus began his 75th fit.

For about 30 seconds. Amazing. Only.thirty.seconds.

He sat down and CHEERFULLY......NEATLY.......PLEASANTLY finished his last 14 lines. In less than 30 minutes. Giving me regular progress reports.

Tonight when his mouth was getting out of control, I warned him that he would be writing lines if he didn't instantly stop.

He instantly stopped.

He told his dad when he came home from work exactly what was expected of him and exactly what would happen if he didn't obey.

And so, for now, I have hit the jackpot. I understand that it wasn't really just that I came across an effective method to train him. It was really that I carried through what I said. Calmly. I have always known that.

Tomorrow I may not be so calm. But I am determined to improve. My son deserves nothing less.

Ten Years

Today - or should I say yesterday now - a baby girl was born. Ten years ago. She had lots of dark hair and long eyelashes. Dark blue eyes like her daddy. She has changed very little from that first day.

She gave me a hug before bed tonight and said:

"I don't care what they say mom, you're the BEST MOM in the world!"

I laughed, I couldn't help it. She had no clue why I laughed. I don't care what they say either.....:-)

She is innocent. She is sincere. She is sweet. She is loyal. She is stubborn. She is bright. She is talented. She is beautiful. She is hot-headed. She is generous. She is compassionate. She is curious. She is analytical. She is hard-working. She is serious. She is (sometimes) sassy.

She is my angel. I couldn't ask God for a better gift.

Happy birthday, my lovely Hannah Rose.

The......Corner

This weekend, I was reassured by somebody (who is *much* older and wiser) to just "relax" and not to worry so much about my son. It was their opinion that my son's unlimited affection....coupled with his very early noticing of girls, so much so that he has recently stated that he has a crush on some of them, would eventually translate to a man who would know how to make his wife happy. Period.

So I will just relax. Maybe.

As well, recently I was speaking to someone whose mother is on the list of "Women I Most Admire", and they told me that as a child, at times they reduced their mother to tears. I was stunned to hear this because I could not see this Woman-That-I-Admire ever losing her composure with her child.

But it gave me hope.

It gave me hope that, after all, this boy-o-mine - whom I love to infinity - and has reduced me to tears many times in the last little while, will turn out as wonderful as this individual whom I was talking to.

In truth, I never expected it to become more difficult to homeschool him. I thought (stupidly) it would get easier the older he got. This has been the hardest year yet, and I have no idea if this is only the beginning of the "hard years". He is WAY more inattentive. He is WAY more silly. He is WAY more smart-mouthed. And honestly, if I was independently wealthy, I would hire a tutor to school him in my home. Seriously. (I say that because public school will NEVER be an option for me.)

But, since that is not an option, I continue to pluck away, holding on to the tidbits of hope given to me by others. He is not a bad boy. He is just a mischievous, lovable boy with a glint in his eye that I have always loved seeing in other children. Now it's come home to roost.

Today while at grandmas, I warned him if he didn't listen that he was going to become acquainted with one of grandmas awesome corners. She has way awesomer corners than me, so that has become the correction of choice while at her house. Did my boy tremble at this threat? Not at all. And eventually he found himself sniffing the walls.

While he was visiting this place, my sense of humour kicked in. I was trying to think of appropriate names for this corner. At first I thought of just calling it "Seth's Corner", since it is reserved just for him. Then I remembered the name of the place at the public library where kids gather for story time:

And I thought.....with a little play on words, we could make this a most "fitting" place for my son. Thus, I named his corner:

Now, his dad already told me tonight that I have to take the sign down at grandma's. He doesn't want his son to pick up this word and use it too commonly. That is understandable......I know the sign must go - really, it was just for comic relief anyway - but I do find his words of warning rather ironic. After all, it was he.....NOT ME......who used that very same word that I spoke about in my previous post.......((smile)).

But I sure enjoyed it while it lasted.

I Love You More Than........

Years ago, my daughter and I started a game we played sometimes as part of her bedtime ritual. I called it "I Love You More Than...." and in the game, one of us would begin by saying "I Love You More Than"........and finish it by saying something like "the flowers and the trees", and the other would finish it with a rhyme with something like, "I Love You More Than......the birds and the bees...." With Hannah and I, we usually got very mushy and sentimental, occasionally becoming very silly with a lot of giggling. Mushy was more the norm, however. We are females, after all.

Today I discovered this game is FAR different when played with my son. AND my husband.

With a little time to kill before getting ready to go to church tonight, Seth was bored. And Restless. Bored + Restless = PEST. So, before he got to this stage, I decided to teach him this little game. My son loves rhyming.....it's one of his favourite things in school. But loving to rhyme and being poetic, I discovered, are TWO ENTIRELY DIFFERENT THINGS.

I started it off simple: "I love you more than apples and pie"........ (you know, because pie is an easy rhyming word), to which he excitedly stated, "I love you more than the AIR IN THE TIRES AND THE FLY"......or some such very silly thing.

To which he laughed uproariously, hugely proud of himself.

This went on for a bit, with each of us trading off who went first. The silliness increased. Finally I said: "I love you more than chicken soup......" and, before Seth could reply, my husband......WHO HAD BEEN AT THE COMPUTER AND SHOULD HAVE BEEN MINDING HIS BUSINESS.....((ahem.....)).....said:

"I love you more than TURTLE POOP!"

Well, can you imagine the reaction of our son? He giggled until I thought he would wet himself. So, imagine his delight when shortly thereafter, dad scored another hit when I said:

"I love you more than my two pink chairs....."

And he said:

"I love you more than the Berenstain Bears...."

Well, Seth got up excitedly and ran to his sister's room to repeat his dad's genius.

A few minutes later as the kids were having a quick before-church snack, Seth was recalling to Hannah his dad's awesome poetic talent. Again. Dad was still ACTING like he was busy at the computer. Hannah and Seth were playing the game between themselves and giggling.

Then, Seth stumped Hannah with:

"I love you more than potatoes and chicken....."

Hannah thought and thought. Seth jumped up from the table, stating that he would "ask his dad on this one". So, he repeated it to his dad:

"I love you more than potatoes and chicken....."

To which his quick-witted (truly poetic) dad said........much to the delight of us all.......

"I love you more than the nose you're pickin...."

Seth declared dad the champ. "Turtle poop and Berenstain Bears. Yup. Dad's the best", were Seth's words. And rightfully so. We had a lot of fun filling in 20 minutes. So.....if you are ever in need of a fun family game......just try "I Love You More Than...."

See if you don't end up in stitches.

Large Families

Children are a blessing. The fruit of the womb is HIS reward.

I had an interesting discussion with someone yesterday. This young woman brought up the infamous Duggar family, who is apparently expecting their 20th child. Now I realize that we live in a time when 20 children is unheard of. Fifteen children is rare. Ten children is considered a huge family. Five or six children is slightly more common. BUT 20!!

She said: "You cannot tell me that those children get much one-on-one time with their parents!!".....harrumph!

I said: "You cannot tell me that 2.5 children in a two-working-parent home where the children are either in daycare or left at home alone after school (if they're old enough) until a parent gets home from work (and is away at school all day.....but I didn't say that.....) gets ANY MORE one-on-one time with mommy or daddy!".......harrumph #2!

She said: "Touche....."

But, she still doesn't really agree. (And we really didn't argue......we were just vehement in our opinion....).

I've been thinking a lot about large families, particularly large families with good, responsible parents. Just because OUR SOCIETY says it's stupid, wrong, too hard on the children, blah, blah, blah, blah, doesn't mean that is the way GOD views children. Society just doesn't "get" God. Our society is way too narcissistic. We think unless we can give our children designer clothes, a car when they're 16, and pay for their college WE HAVE FAILED.

Let me tell you what I think. I think that unless my child earns their own money, they will NEVER get designer clothing. Even then, it would be closely monitored and ON SALE. I think that it is good for a child to work, earn money, save from a young age and BUY THEIR OWN CAR. I think that if a parent invests in their child's education (which we do), it is better given AFTER - AND ONLY - IF THEY GRADUATE. But, I think it's okay for a child to work hard and put themselves through school too, and a parent need not be ashamed if they just cannot afford it.

I highly respect the Duggars. Not only do they live debt-free in a gorgeous house, their children are responsible, well mannered, well trained, well spoken, home educated children. I do not believe they are deprived. The Duggars have understood from the beginning that it was their job to teach, train and prepare their children to be responsible adults.

If you can't properly train your children - don't have them. But give me a well trained child from a large family ANY DAY over a snotty child in the "perfect" two child family.

Yes, this is a stereotype, but I believe by-in-large, it is an accurate one.

By the way, this is from the mother of two *perfect* children........((smile)).